[This week’s email is in response to a reader question. Transcript and captions available in the media settings. Submit your question for a future newsletter.]
Reader Question (from S):
Hi Grey:
I’m really enjoying your content, and the insight you provide is very valuable. I saw some of your latest reels where you explained about over-functioning in a relationship. I find myself in this dynamic often, as I think I have fear of abandonment or being taken for granted. In the past I really struggled to communicate my needs and always felt too much for asking. I mostly find myself exhausted from giving and not receiving in return.
In my current relationship, I’m actively learning to draw boundaries and voice my needs, and yet I find myself having to do most of the emotional labor by requesting repair or seeking resolution after conflict. I really want to improve the relationship, but I’m not often met with the same level of involvement or willingness from the other person.
It would be really helpful if you can provide some insight about what a partner needs to do when they stop over-functioning and they see that the relationship is not working when they take the step back. What would be the right thing to do then if they still want the relationship to work?
Thank you.
~S
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